Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I'm both gender and math confused
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
