all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
