I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
operation have a gay friend backfired
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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