We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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