why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
