I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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