I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Randomize
