Yo dont text me then not text me
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
