and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
