we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
