whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
