We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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