fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
COCAINE IS GR8
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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