I don't think brook has ever known best
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
