My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
