I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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