READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
now i know why i became what i already was.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
