idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
please don't ironically join a cult
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