I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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