It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
