its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
