these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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