I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
