there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
