Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
