i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize