All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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