I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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