Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
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