The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
