it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
