READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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