turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
