i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
not ubering you a puppy
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
