Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I supernannyed him into submission
how does that bad decision feel?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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