cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
