he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
