some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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