Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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