You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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