its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I need moral support for this bender
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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