And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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