I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
