Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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