dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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