Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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