In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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