The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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