You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
