Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just had sex on a roof
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
