I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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