I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
