Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
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