If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
