Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize