My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
