I'm so fucking centered right now
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
