where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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