he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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