I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
