you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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