Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
