Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
