The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
