so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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