so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
